Thoughts: NYC MommyBloggers

I was pretty passionate in my last post about wanting to start writing seriously again. And I still am.

But since our move I can't find the right flash drive to recommence devout work on my novel and my belly is too big for me to be bending over boxes searching for it, so instead I'm going to write about that class of women who are becoming almost as mocked and famous as talentless hotel empire heiresses; NYC MommyBloggers.

I have just spent a rainy afternoon (properly utilizing nap time, of course) reading the musings and perusing the photos of these women and I have learned a few things about being a mom in NYC.

1. You have to have a professional grade camera and take artsy pictures of your kids that are never balanced and are full of sun flares to be a "real NY Momma."

2. It is not only advisable but entirely necessary to have some extravagant form of entertainment planned for your child (age is not factor) every single day. Zoos, museums, concerts, puppet shows, circuses, and whale watching voyages are all good ideas. Playdates must have themes, include costumes, and feature an extensive snack buffet (preferably purchased at Trader Joe's).

3. Your child cannot leave the house without wearing one of those floppy fisherman hats.

4. Stroller=status symbol. You can definitely pick out the professional mommys by checking out the strollers they they stand guard over at the playground.

5. All of life's business, no matter how personal, can be conducted on an iPhone on a park bench. The loss of one's iphone is a catastrophe comparable to losing one's left hand.

6. The absence of a cutesy little nickname for your husband is the mark of a true amateur mommyblogger. (Examples: Holbs, Hussy, DH, etc.)

7. If you're any good at mommyblogging, you will be writing for at least three online magazines, have a long list of sponsors, and land free photo shoots with trendy photographers every few months to document your exciting, modern life balancing shopping trips, trying out restaurants and handcrafting wall coverings for each new season.

These are a few of my first observations about the online representation of the world and culture I am entering. I laugh, but I love it. I can't wait to help plan my first playdate and I'm diving into consumer reviews on DSLR cameras (my little point and shoot got misplaced/stolen at the French restaurant, remember?)

I already have the iphone. (Just not very many people to call yet.)

So I'm living large in NYC. Make that very large. And mommybloggers, though you are ridiculed for being frivolous and at times insanely over the top, I think we'll get along just fine. I have a lot to learn from you. Even if I don't live on the UWS.